$39.99 each
Bess Vesti-bullets!
A value of the highest caliber! One less for her to use, suicidally!
$10/hour
Patriotism Extractor
Clean out your impacted American colon, you fucking traitor!
$27.98 (incl. gratuity)
A Mother's Tears
As sweet as her milk...and twice as expensive!
$13.99 each
Mother's Milk
"Anthony and co.'s best work!" - Cherle Beakins
$229.99 each
God's Juice Box
Available in "Blue," "Ecto Cooler" and pure, ambient "Wisdom!"
$0.25 each
Kiss of an Angel
Highly acidic!
$120 (3 payments)
Skin Repellent
Finally, it's not possible to remove your skin without dying!
$5/2
Chef Boyardee's Fascist Pastaganda!
Fun and oppressively-shaped mussolinguini, drenched in national sauce-cialism!
$21.99 each
Sack Race: Limited Edition DVD
It's a race against time (and the other family) as two families race against time across the country to secure a life-saving scrotal-implant procedure for their dying daughters! All in time for the big, father-daughter sack race! From director Leni Riefenstahl!
$8.25 (add. topping $1.25)
Delicious Pizza (w/ Jagged Glass Shards)*
Hot, fresh, inedible, and to your door in 30 minutes...or we're free!
* Fish not included
$19.99 each
Field of Reams
If you buy it, you will come! Stars Kevin Costner in a role that will arouse you! No refunds!
FREE (first come, first serve)
Mark Charles Bisi Jr.'s Saliva
Order now, supplies are limited to an infinite amount for all eternity!